I woke up to autumn’s first cold snap.
My drawn curtains breathing then snapping shut.
While I gathered my conviction to get out of bed and close the window.
I reflected on the dream I was having,
You were sitting on my bedroom sill,
Peeling a Chinese mandarin, tossing its skin aside.
You asked that I leave you so you could change
Coming back in you were wearing new clothes.
While I thought about this my sense of smell came back,
And I could smell your hair over my pillow.
It takes two nights for it to disappear
A sweet artificial flavour, maybe mandarin.
As I got up I thought, Is that why I was dreaming about you?
Your indistinguishable presence has worked its way into my dreams.
I pulled up my blinds and closed the window.
Outside the cold breeze taped on my window rattling it softly,
Drawing my attention, it was then that I realised.
This is how I know myself
As a reflection in my bedroom window.
I’m a vague image transposed over the pane,
I look to close and I see only shadows of what’s there.
My eyes stay and my gaze wanders too deeply
Now it’s beyond the veneer, down the road where the river is ebbing.